I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
