sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
