and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
