Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
