I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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