Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
