I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
