I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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