shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
