So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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