oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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