Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
