Define "chronic" masturbator.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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