I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
