You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
