yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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