her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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