but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i need some magic done to my vagina
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
