My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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