If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
