She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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