she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
