He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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