The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
where are you?
Hypothermia
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
