i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
