Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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