i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
