yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
