so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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