how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
