apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
