why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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