My nipple is on Facebook.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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