I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
