It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
even my farts smell like vagina
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
