Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
