do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
