he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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