He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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