who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
