Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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