The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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