You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
