Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
