talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
