Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This is my gift to your gina
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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