It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Buhtt sex?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
