Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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