Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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