Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
sex in a hospital.. check
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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