remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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