I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
